'Big Bites Break Boundaries' is a raw exploration of the complexities surrounding food, body image, and mental health, echoing a personal journey and advocacy in Hong Kong. By intertwining experiences with an eating disorder and efforts to break free from cultural constraints on what it means to be considered 'pretty,' 'good,' and 'accomplished,' a narrative is crafted that resonates deeply with anyone struggling to find their voice. This collection of story fragments serves as a statement against cultural norms that dismiss stories as 'unfinished' or 'unpolished,' celebrating the inherent messiness of being human.

At the heart of this narrative is Stephanie Ng, a mental health advocate, entrepreneur, and researcher known for her role as the founder of Body Banter, a platform encouraging young people in Hong Kong to engage in open conversations about body image and mental health. As one of our former JESSICA Awardees, her impactful work challenged and changed the dialogue around mental health and body image. In an exclusive interview, we discussed how 'Big Bites Break Boundaries' invites readers to embrace their mess as a message, advocating for a world where personal narratives are not just heard but cherished for their authenticity and vulnerability.

It took four-years to write "Big Bites Break Boundaries," and it was filled with big realizations.

The book began as a personal reflection, like a diary, and was not intended for publication. Over time, she amassed a significant amount of writing, which she organized into a book. A book, she feels, is the perfect medium to share her message on navigating eating disorders and opening discussion on mental health. She grappled with perfectionism, realizing that striving for a perfect representation of her thoughts and experiences was futile. "My frustration with perfectionism led to a crucial change in mindset. While writing about perfectionism, I was ironically caught in its trap, striving for an unattainable ideal. I realized I had to release the pursuit of perfection to move forward with the book."

A significant mindset shift occurred halfway through, where she decided to focus on expressing her true self at the moment, accepting that her views might change, but what mattered was the authenticity of her expression at that time.

"There was a turning point when I recognized the need to progress beyond continually refining the same chapter; otherwise, the book would never be completed. I shifted my goal towards creating something authentic to my current self, accepting that each revision was the best I could offer now."

This realization led her to accept that the book would reflect her current self, acknowledging that some perspectives might change over time. This mindset shift was crucial in allowing her to complete the book, acknowledging it as a "messy product" but her own. "I had to release the notion of perfecting the book. It's impossible to encapsulate all my ideas and learnings in one volume. There are insights I've omitted, which I'll have the opportunity to share again."

"I gave myself an ultimatum: accept the book as it is, in all its imperfection. This is my work, raw and unpolished. Take it as it comes."

In discussing the challenges of cultural narratives in her book, Stephanie highlighted the pressure to conform to cultural expectations regarding emotions and grief, particularly within Chinese culture.

She critiqued the common advice to "go with the flow" or that "time will heal all wounds," pointing out how such phrases can dismiss and invalidate the depth of one's emotional experiences. "It's treated like a temporary phase, something to overcome simply." Ng also touched on broader narratives that suggest mental illness or unhappiness is the fault of the individual, "Saying things like that dismisses the profound depth of someone's feelings. It's as if their emotions aren't fully real or significant.” The implication is that they have control over their conditions and should overcome them within a predetermined timeframe.

"There's a pervasive myth that mental illness, or even general unhappiness, is a personal failing—something people should be able to control or quickly move past, as if there's an expiration date on their struggles."

Adding to this, Ng brought up an insightful resource to explore the concept of empathy further, which challenges these cultural narratives around emotional support. She mentioned a YouTube video by Brené Brown on empathy, emphasizing its significance in illustrating the difference between sympathy and empathy. The video, described as brief and humorously animated, conveys a powerful message through a simple metaphor. While sympathy is akin to offering a sandwich from above to someone in a hole, empathy involves climbing down to sit beside them, sharing their experience without judgment. This analogy underscores the necessity of genuine connection and support, moving beyond superficial consolations to a deeper, more empathetic understanding of others' struggles. Ng's reference to Brown's work highlights the importance of rethinking how we approach conversations about mental health, advocating for a shift from dismissive platitudes to authentic, empathetic engagement.

Since publishing "Big Bites Break Boundaries," Stephanie has received positive feedback, emphasizing collaboration and community engagement through the book.

She expressed excitement about facilitating other NGOs, especially local organizations that might receive little attention but serve marginalized populations. "The community's response has been incredibly encouraging. Hearing them express that they've valued my past work and are excited about supporting my book feels truly rewarding." The feedback has encouraged her to reach out to NGO partners and corporates that have supported her work, highlighting the community's positive response to the book and its themes.

"One personal highlight for me is being able to present the book to those who've supported me throughout my journey. Handing a copy to my closest friends and the people the book is dedicated to, acknowledging that I've reached this point largely thanks to their influence, is immensely gratifying."

Ng anticipates that her ongoing research and advocacy work will continue to shape her storytelling. Her work, particularly in mental health awareness and breaking down cultural narratives, suggests an ongoing evolution in how she approaches and shares stories. "I'm particularly excited about the potential collaborations from the book launch events. I aim to leverage the book's theme to spark meaningful discussions within the wider Hong Kong community." This process reflects a broader engagement with complex and often challenging topics, indicating that her future work will likely continue to explore these themes in nuanced and evolving ways.

Stephanie offers thoughtful advice for young individuals in Hong Kong and elsewhere, particularly those struggling to voice their own stories about mental health and body image.

She emphasizes the importance of recognizing that sharing one's story in a public space differs from the versions shared with close family or friends. She encourages young mental health advocates to understand and accept the evolving nature of their narratives, comparing raw, unprocessed experiences to "cookie dough" and more polished, shared stories to "baked cookies."

"Each of us holds distinct versions of our stories, and that's perfectly fine. Some narratives are raw, still taking shape as we process them. Others are like baked cookies – these are the polished tales we're ready to share with others."

Highlighting that neither version is more authentic than the other; they are simply different stages of processing and readiness for sharing.

Ng also discusses the concept of empathy in supporting others, using a Cantonese phrase that translates to "standing shoulder to shoulder" to illustrate the ideal approach of being alongside someone in their struggles, rather than attempting to fix their problems from a distance.

"There's a Cantonese saying that translates to 'standing shoulder to shoulder with someone.' It's about being present with another person, walking and talking with them as equals, seeing the world from the same vantage point."

Interested in reading the book? You can find the book here: https://www.red-publish.com/book/3053